My name is Micah Reyes, and I am a 24-year-old transgender male. I am passionate about mental health, especially as it pertains to the LGBTQ+ community. When I heard about parasocial relationships amongst Queer young people, I was struck by a moment of familiarity. My parasocial relationship friend sits behind my screen, and I tune in every week to see him. He knows me down to a T (no pun intended). He is a YouTuber, and I have been following him along his journey before, during, and after coming out as a transgender man. His weekly videos gave me the hope and strength to not only live my authentic life but to love it as well. This letter is for him:

I came across your YouTube channel when I was 17 years old. At the time, I was living as a woman and identified as a masculine lesbian. My coming out story was not autonomous, as neither of my parents accepted me for who I was, and this catapulted me into a year-long depression.

I came across your channel during a particularly long, dark day in my room. Your videos instantly brought me joy. At the time, you were not using any pronouns, nor did you explicitly identify as a lesbian, but you were in a relationship with a woman. As you went along your journey, I did too. I knew all along that I was uncomfortable living as a woman, and I secretly longed to be who I really was. I was a transgender male trapped in a foreign body. Gender dysphoria was a constant reminder that I was far away from who I wanted to be. I silenced my thoughts of being transgender out of fear of losing everyone I loved. I believed I was destined for an inauthentic life. I tried coming to terms with the fact that I would live with a sadness and longing for my true self, forever. You were there on lonely days when I did not know how to voice who I was. You were there when the thought of coming out as my true self terrified my soul.

Three years ago, you came out as transgender and posted a video that would save my life. You had the same fears I had, but you were courageous and resilient. I watched your journey as you had difficult conversations with family and friends, started hormone replacement therapy, and underwent top surgery. You normalized the process for me; you were vulnerable and honest about the realities of coming out and transitioning. Your videos gave me hope, and the confidence I needed to begin my journey.

On August 12, 2023, I came out as a transgender male. You were there when I lost my family’s acceptance. You were there when my friends embraced me with love and support. You were there when I started hormone replacement therapy. You were there when I lost and found love as a transgender man. You have been there for me during significant milestones, even though you did not know it. You have given me invaluable information and access to the resources I needed. Without you, I do not know where I would be today. Thank you for continuing to make content for the LGBTQ+ community even after these videos were demonetized. You are one of the few people I know who knows what it is like to live in a community and be the only transgender person. You have shown me how to live with transgender pride.

All the best,
Micah

In this age of increased access to the internet and social media, parasocial relationships provide transgender and nonbinary young people with important access and an opportunity to connect with personal stories from other, similar people. What does this mean for us? It means we all have a duty to continue increasing access and support for these parasocial relationships, which are vital to the well-being of these members in our community. It means we must support and advocate for these content creators who continue changing lives and supporting transgender and nonbinary young people going through a difficult and nuanced lived experience. We all deserve a chance in this life to live with pride being exactly who we are.